Words of Wisdom

Our Central Texas Summer has been the wettest I can remember in a long time. It has made my running a bit of a challenge. Not so much the rain itself; it’s the humidity - the
nasty cloud of humidity hovering over our fair city. Needless to say, it clouds my motivation. Recently though, I had the opportunity to run with my now 16 year old son. John wasn’t able to get away from his work so he suggested I take my son for a run with me. Neither one of us really wanted to head out; we knew the humid air would consume us as soon as we opened the door.

We were right. As a bonus, the heat radiating off the pavement complimented the thick air quite nicely. I told my son that he could run ahead of me if he needed to. Besides having to deal with the humidity, I didn’t want him to also be caught running in the neighborhood with his mother. He didn’t seem to mind. He stayed at my slower than his pace as we completed our first mile. After another half mile, I announced to my son that I was going to walk for a tenth. I expected him to keep moving ahead. The only thing worse than running with your mother is walking with your mother. But he didn’t. We picked up our gait for another mile and then I felt like I had to walk one more tenth. Not even my beloved Switchfoot serenade could keep me going. My partner however stayed right with me.

We were both happy to finish our 5K. As we walked back to our house completely dripping with sweat, I said to my son, “I feel guilty for having to walk some. I know Satan wanted me to feel like a failure and not be able to run the whole way today. I guess I let him win.”

Not really expecting a response, I was surprised when my 16 year old removed his ear buds, turned toward me and said, “Mom, there isn’t anything wrong with walking a little. The guilt is where Satan is getting you, not the walking.”

I’ve been pondering those words of wisdom for several days now. Guilt is an emotion that plagues me, sometimes for the silliest things – like walking during a run. Now there are times when a healthy expression of remorse is necessary. However, there are also times when we let guilt debilitate us and keep us from living life “to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV)

Take a look at Jesus speaking to Peter in John 21 beginning at verse 15. I always wondered why Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. It seemed a little excessive and annoying. But as I was listening to a CD by Christian speaker and author John Eldredge, he explained it in a way I had never considered before. Of course, Jesus already knew the answer. He knew Peter’s heart. It was asked in triplicate for Peter’s sake. Peter had a huge amount of guilt to overcome and Jesus really wanted Peter to get it.

Do you ever feel that way – guilty for letting Jesus down? Do you linger in feeling like a sinner and not claiming your prize of sainthood through Christ? (Phil 1:1 NIV) Jesus tells us to relax “…I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV) This summer, when the heat is on, let’s not dwell on our sinful nature and our need for a Savior; let’s dwell on our thankfulness that we already have one.

Things To Do

I cannot believe that May 2007 is over. It was a wonderful month. My boys are finished with school, my husband was able to attend a much needed retreat, and we are getting lots of big projects marked off our "to do" list. I've had several great runs too. My hip is finally feeling better and I'm very excited about that. I'll just maintain throughout the hot Texas summer and then start training for the White Rock event this Fall in Dallas. I've had two friends verbally commit to completing the half-marathon with me so it should be a fun weekend ahead.

As I was working some of the smaller projects off our "to do" list - cleaning the wood staircase - my youngest asked me "Who's coming over?" When I answered "No one" he look perplexed. Later, as I dusted the living room, he questioned me again. I told him again that no one was coming over. He asked "Then why are you cleaning up?" As I pondered this dialogue, I realized that our family has a habit of "cleaning up" only when friends are coming over. We do whatever we need to do to make ourselves look organized and tidy. It's not that we're slobs or anything, we just don't make ourselves a priority. We are willing to go the extra mile for others, but not for ourselves.

While that line of thinking isn't entirely a bad thing, it did make me a bit sad. Our family should be top priority. We should want to stay organized and ship-shape just for each other. And if that isn't enough, we should do it for our Savior, who we invite to dwell in our hearts and in our home. He's a God of order and beauty and since we are all made in His image, we really long for that too. Waste and caos are of the evil one - just one more way to keep us from God. And if order becomes routine, it gives us that much more time to do other stuff - fun stuff - stuff that is enjoyable and exciting.

So I've challenged my family to make clean our routine. We always have a guest invited and his name is Jesus Christ.

Link and Read

As a member of a local non-profit organization, I volunteered to write one of the monthly devotionals for our website. I felt inspired to write about my half marathon experience and Easter. Seems like an odd combination, huh? Check it out at www.liveitonline.org.

More later...

Worried Anticipation

No – not in completing the Austin American Statesman Capitol 10,000 or not in besting last year’s 6.2 mile time – I’m worried about the pins; that’s right, safety pins. Last year I was a complete nervous wreck before the Cap10K. It would be my first official event as a runner. Imagine my disappointment while picking up my packet, I was given the heart-stopping news, “We ran out of safety pins. Sorry.” What, no pins? How in the world will I be identified, how will my number remain attached, how can I possibly run now? Every safety pin available in the entire city of Austin was gone; the whole lot of silver and gold fasteners depleted from our state’s capitol. This however was not true. There were still safety pins available – I just had to go out of my way and purchase them for myself. And buy them I did, 300 of them, from a Michael’s store somewhere across from the Arboretum. My boys and I only needed a dozen. I was tempted to tear the corner off the plastic baggie they were in and just palm a few, but, thank the good Lord, I was able to overcome.

Now I’m sure that planning the largest 10K run in Texas is no easy feat. There are so many minor details to consider - but no pins? It’s not as if they have no earthly idea this need is on the horizon. Come on, every entrant needs four. Someone at the Statesman could have been buying a couple packages every month, throwing them in a drawer and they’d be all set for packet pick-up day. Now I’m no Rhodes scholar, shoot, I’m not even a college graduate but I can multiply 20,000ish by four. Take this year for example; they are hoping to have 30,000 entrants. So I’d start with at least 120,000 safety pins. Throw in an extra five thousand and they’ll be good to go. I’m hoping it’s not too late; I hope somehow, some way, someone at the Austin American Statesman gets this message: Please, for the welfare and security of our bibs, don’t run out of pins again!

Reunited

Last Sunday evening just before drifting off to sleep, my husband turned to me and asked “Do you want to go for a run together tomorrow?” I demurely answered “Sure”, but my mind began racing – why does he want to go with me? He usually goes with Kyle (our son). I must be looking puffy or not be doing something right. You see, I’ve been running solo since last year’s Capitol 10K. My husband, John, and Kyle began training for their full marathon shortly thereafter and I was left to go it alone. I did every bit of Hal Higdon’s Beginner Half-Marathon training program by myself and I hadn’t planned on my partner returning. John was my first coach, mentor and cheerleader. He listened to me whine, complain, and say, “I can’t do this” more times than necessary. John encouraged me literally every step of the way. While I had missed his company, I knew there would be new challenges placed before me when we ran together; move faster, breathe more rhythmically, push yourself just a bit more.

We started out Monday morning while the sun was still on the rise. After stretching, we cleared the chrono mode on our watch timers, checked our iPods, and got ready to head out. John leaned over, moved his cap bill out of the way and gave me a kiss, just like he had practically every other time we had gone together. As the tenths passed, I kept waiting for my “training” to begin. But it never did. The only comment John made was a simple yet profound, "I like this. It's nice." Our run together seemed less stressed, comfortable, natural; in part I think because my self-confidence level has increased. Now I know I won’t get to run with my husband every session, and while I do still enjoy my alone time, I’ll appreciate our couple time even more. It just “feels so good!”

Sorry for the Delay

I finally finished outlining the details of my half-marathon experience. It took a few days to complete as I've had an extremely hectic schedule this week - massage, facial, meeting friends for dinner, haircut - not to mention that I need to ummm, clean my house, which has been last on the to-do list for some time now. I've also been stretching and taking some easy walk/runs this week; gearing up for my next training schedule. What that training schedule is for however, has yet to be determined.

Details, Details

The night before the AT&T Austin Marathon/Half-Marathon was filled with restlessness and excitement. We had to leave for Austin at 4:30am, so I should have just stayed up until then. No one slept very well.

Once we arrived and figured out where to park, we had about a mile walk to the race start area. The weather was cool but not damp, so it wasn't too bad. I had a friend along who was also running her first half-marathon. We had never trained together and she actually hadn't trained over a distance of 5 miles, but she had a super mental attitude which in the end made the difference for her.

The endless view of bodies ahead of us was really stimulating. The first five miles went so quickly. The adrenaline was really pumping and I was moving much faster than I had planned on. About mile six, my friend announced she couldn't keep going!!! I told her there's no way she wasn't finishing. We walked for a short while and then took it nice and easy the remainder of the course, walking up the extreme hills when necessary.

It's hard to describe the joyfulness and sense of release as you cross the finish line. Receiving the finisher's medal from the race personnel was so satisfying. I've been a spectator at these events before and I always felt like such a slug amongst the actual runners. Sunday, I could drink my free Powerade and take my complimentary bagel with no shame; I had earned it.

After my friend and I stretched and changed, we parked ourselves near the full marathon finish line. It was inspiring watching the participants as they summoned their last bit of energy to close out their race. As I remembered how I felt when onlookers yelled my name off my bib, I began screaming for anyone and everyone who passed. There's just something about hearing your name out loud that magnifies the kudos even more. My husband and son were even able to "high five" me as they raced by.

I could go on and on. Sunday, February 18th was a wonderful day. I'd like to express my gratitude and thankfulness to my Maker. I know that He was with me every step of the way and I couldn't have done it without Him. This accomplishment is just one of many that He has planned for me; the choice is mine to succeed.

Awesomeness

I am proud to report that today I completed the AT&T Half Marathon-Austin, TX! It was a wonderful feeling crossing the finishing line and knowing that I completed a major task that I set out to accomplish.

I'm even more in awe of my husband and son, who completed the full marathon today. As I finished, I thought about them and how it would be like me turning around and re-doing what I just finished. Unimaginable.

I am rewarding myself with a real, honest-to-goodness chocolate brownie and a glass of skim milk (gotta cut some fat somewhere). More later on this most awesome day!

Oh So Close

It's Thursday, February 15th, just 3 days away from my first half-marathon. This week's training cut my running way back, to help rejuvenate me I'm guessing. 4 miles yesterday, 2 miles tomorrow and just stretching and weights in between. I am having my usual yo-yo anxiety - one moment I can do this, the next I'm not ready. It's a run for crying out loud; not delicate brain surgery or plans for world peace!! There, I'm feeling better already. I still need to do my weights for today so off I go.....

One More Week

It's almost time for the half-marathon. Only 7 days to go. I'm proud to say I haven't yet skipped any of the suggested workouts outlined on the training program.

On my Friday 5 miler, I cut 2 minutes off my previous fastest 5 mile time. Two minutes - I couldn't believe it. It was a cold, gray day, but it felt familiar and almost inviting as I stepped outside. Mentally, I was battling the usual negative thoughts Satan throws my way. But when I saw my finishing time, I knew the Lord had carried me through.

Today, was a 10 mile run. After the cold misty precipitation stopped and I had made some outerwear adjustments, I was able to concentrate on running. I thought about aborting until the weather cleared, but who wants to do that after you've already headed out?

My time was great and my attitude at the moment is so positive. I never thought I'd run 10 miles ever. I'm sure the additional 3.1 next Sunday will be totally doable. When I returned home, I had a yummy lunch and headed out again for some retail therapy. I'm still looking for just the right outfit to wear on the 18th though. A girl's gotta look good, right?

Nine Mile Monday

Because of the big game, I opted to run my longer run this morning and do my shorter cross-training workout on Sunday. I must say the 9 mile run went very well. The weather was about 10 degrees warmer than it had been on my previous long run. The sun was shining and traffic was minimal as most of my neighbors were off to work. I even had an iPod upgrade, as my shuffle needed charging so I took my son's iPod Video instead. I was especially pleased because his armband case matched my tennis shoes!

About halfway through the run, I decided my salty Super Bowl snacks weren't worth it. I have to remember to fuel my body more effectively the day before my long run. Thankfully I had lots of water with me.

My time was a little slower than I had calculated, but not much. I think I was holding back a little; fear of the unknown and all. This is the longest I've ever run in my entire life. I'm looking forward to a great week.

He's Able

I had planned to get out of bed early, do some paperwork and complete my 5 mile run, all before my seven year old even woke up. That didn’t happen. It was cold and rainy and since I haven’t yet bought any decent water-resistant running gear, I waited until a little later in the morning. I was able to get going around 10:30am. The run went well but I did feel a little uneasy thinking that this was just over 1/3 of what I would do on February 18th. Satan will do whatever he can to try and get my thoughts on a negative downward spiral. I was able to overcome with a few lines from a children’s Bible song, “He’s Able.” “….I know my Lord is able to carry me through.” I’m in training – not finished yet. This is a process.

Sometimes running 5 miles can have an unexpected blessing. When I arrived home from errands this evening, I had two loaves of heavenly homemade whole wheat bread sitting on my kitchen counter. A good friend made them for me and I figured I could have a slice or two (they were super thin) since I had had a great cardio workout. So Yummy!

On with the Program

A 10K race was the long run scheduled on my training program. Since there were no 10K races in my area on Monday morning, I just ran around my neighborhood for 6.2 miles. Even though I had run this distance several times before, I still had a bit of an uneasy feeling starting out. Happily, my slight nervousness did not turn into a major panic attack. As a bonus, I had my
Clif Gel Shot to take after 3 miles as I had started out on an empty stomach. The mocha flavored shots are quite decadent - like the last spoonful of brownie batter you scrap from the bowl; it could go into the pan but why? Anyway, I was in such a hurry to taste it, I made a mess of the package and only had a toothpick-sized hole to squeeze it through! Not the big blob of cocoa rush I was anticipating, but still a treat. I completed my run and came home to start the day.

And Away They Go!

I've had one cross-training day and one rest day since my last post. My run for today has been postponed until tomorrow because my husband and 15 year old son just took off for a 20 mile run to the next city!!! My 7 year old and I will be picking them up in a few hours and pampering them when they are done. This is their longest run ever and they will be doing their first full marathon the same weekend I am doing my first half marathon.


They made it!!! And, they are still walking and talking. The best part is the totally guilt-free food consumption that must follow such a run. I've been serving them all day! I am very proud of them. What a wonderful example right here at home!

Predictability

This morning as I began my 5 mile run with my new tennis shoes securely laced to my feet, I turned on my iPod as I normally do. Now, I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, or if there is some reason for it, but my iPod shuffle (the stick of gum sized one) sometimes plays the songs I just heard on my previous run in backwards order!! Cross my heart, I was able to predict what the next tune would be because I remembered the order from my last run. I'm very focused on the music - keeps me from hearing myself breath.

Today during my workout, I found myself thanking God for my life and the blessings I've experienced. My husband works from our home and I teach my boys at home, which allows me the time to exercise and not have to rush anywhere in the mornings. Our lifestyle is anything but predictable, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

More Training

Today was a 5 mile run. I didn't get to wear my new shoes though; didn't want to get them dirty yet. Plus, I need to wear them around the house to break them in a little. The weather was cold and wet again, but I prayed and persevered and was very happy with my time. I was thankful for my iPod. I absolutely love listening to Switchfoot. Their Christian messages are subtle, but so deep and meaningful. I hit the repeat button several times today. The tempo of their song, 4:12 was just right.

Eight Mile Run

Today's task was an 8 mile run. Honestly, I was dreading it. I had just run 4.5 miles on Thursday and Friday and didn't feel quite rested enough. I normally do not have to run back to back, but my training schedule was interrupted by sleet and extremely cold temperatures. And since I live in Texas, I do not have all the proper cold weather gear. It used to seem like such a waste of money, they would get so little use here. Well, I'm buying some - the windbreaker (is that term still used in the outer garment world?) I had just did not cut it.

It was sunny and blue outside, but the wind had a little chill. With my iPod blaring, I started out. Almost immediately, my right knee began to ache. I felt like I was just dragging my right leg along. This really irritated me as I had my knee strap on to keep my kneecap secure. But, I kept moving forward. I did however walk through my glugs of water and my energy gel shot. In spite of my husband's patient tutoring and his "fold and slide" technique for emptying the gel packets, I just cannot swallow and run at the same time.

I made it - all eight miles! My sense of accomplishment was short-lived. Immediately the thought ran through my head "You weren't fast enough". I must dismiss this thought. It is just not true. My time was exactly what I had estimated for myself. This was a major accomplishment for me. How many 43 year old women had run 8 miles today? I know these thoughts were from Satan, not God. I will now pat myself on the back for a job well done. Oh, and the knee pain, umm, my husband noticed I had my knee strap on in the wrong place. Oops.

I'll Never Run

That's what I would tell my husband; "I'll walk for as long as you want, but I'll never run." That was a 10K race and many miles ago and even though I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy
and doubt, I hit the pavement in search of thinner thighs; as an example for my friends and family, and to connect with my Creator, who designed our bodies for movement and who gives me the strength "to do all things".

Currently, I'm in my 7th week of training for a half-marathon to be held mid-February in Austin, Texas. My teenaged son encouraged me to start a blog. This is my first official entry.